Saturday, March 3, 2012

Rainy with a Chance of Depression

I felt terrible today. I was hit with a terrible bout of depression. It actually started slowly yesterday evening, then flared up fully in the morning. It was a mix of anger and sadness, and neither of those feelings are fun on their own, together they really suck. I just wanted to retreat away from the world and let it pass, like it usually does.
Yesterday I was planning on going out with my father today, but that was the last thing I wanted to do. All I wanted to do was nothing. I even ended up laying in bed for an hour in the middle of the day, unable to sleep, but unable to get up and do anything. But I wasn't able to isolate myself completely even thought that's all I wanted. I said I didn't want to go out, but my father kept bugging me to go out. I must have told him no over a dozen times. He just wouldn't stop and leave me alone. Which made me even madder, and sadder.
He finally went out without me, which was a great relief. I understand asking a few times, but the sheer amount of times I was bothered was so gosh darn annoying. Get the hint. When he came back I lumbered downstairs to help put away groceries, even depressed I'm still helpful. Then he tells me, that he didn't go to any of the second hand stores and wanted me to go out with him now and visit them...
WHAT PART OF NO DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND???? I didn't actually say that but I certainly felt it. Again I had to tell him no several times. I don't want to argue, I just want to be left alone!

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