I'm pleased to see that most of you are still here but I did notice we lost a follower *Heart Breaks*
Just kidding, I would have unfollowed me too since I haven't been blogging.
What can I say about last month, other than it was terrible.
It was an extremely rough month on a variety of fronts. The first thing being someone very important to me fell off the face of the Earth. I went from talking to them every day, to pure radio silence. I was totally in the dark with what happened, and one of the worst things that can happen is to me being alone with my thoughts. I had all these terrible ideas and situations swirling in my brain that were all horrible to think about. It was a really rough time for me. I recently heard from their roommate, they had some big issues of their own that was keeping them away (like worse than my issues). They were hoping to be back soon. That was a couple of days ago and I still haven't heard from them but I'm being patient. Now that I know what's going on I understand these things take time, and I wouldn't want them to rush anything. I still miss him terribly though.
Work also sucked. I think in my last post I talked about getting a job, well I still have it. I am honestly shocked every time I leave there when I haven't quit in a huff. And the thing is, I don't hate the job. I like being able to help people and I think I could be rather decent on it with the correct training. The issue is my training has been so shoddy. I honestly have been forced to be incredibly proactive in making sure I get the training I need. I've been working there for about five weeks now and I'm still not done with my computer training. I worked on it for a while, but once I got stuck in a section due to computer issues they threw me out onto the floor and I haven't gotten a chance to finish it. People keep saying that I must be getting tired of being bugged to finish my training, but I'm not, because nobody is mentioning it. My immediate supervisor did talk to me briefly about it last week, but just the fact I need to get it done, which is nearly impossible since lately I've been the only person working in my department so it's not like I can be computer training and working the floor at the same time. I just am tired of being told I need to do something without getting the proper tools on how to learn it. With my training lots of time I'll get taught steps 1, 3 and 4 but they'll just ignore steps 2 and 5 until I'm asking what am I doing wrong. I'm tired of being wrong with things that I've never been shown in the first place.
I even got .... not really yelled at at work today. Some of my sales numbers aren't that stellar and they want me to improve them. And I hate to play this card, but I've only been working there for five weeks and there's SO much to learn. I am trying my best and going really out of my comfort zone with this job but it doesn't really seem to matter to them. My supervisor even mentioned my upcoming 60 day evaluation in a kinda you better shape up kind of vaguely threatening way. It's like, I've been working here five weeks, I'm always on time, I've already come in twice in order to cover someone else's shift, I'm trying to do everything by the book, and this week you've got me scheduled for 31.75 hours when I'm only part time. You need me just as much as I need you. I'm trying to remain "ever gentle and kind", but sometimes this Cinderella just wants to walk out especially when they are expecting the same level of sales compared to people who have been working there for years. You would not believe the number of times I've written my resignation letter in my head. And I'm already thinking of other ways to get money. It's like, I could throw myself into E-bay a lot harder and there's always re-rooting. Sure the hours of work compared to the pay suck, but it might be better than this job. It's gotten so bad that I've even though about selling the dolls in an effort to not have to keep working there. And when I'm thinking like that, you know it's bad.
What other fun stuff happened? Oh right! I had a fun play date with another dolly friend at the start of the month, came home to find out the cat had thrown up... blood, everywhere (mainly on my bed but we did get some fun blood splatter on my wall). I won't lie, if I had not seen the cat alive before that and just saw the aftermath, I would have assumed she was dead. It was gruesome. It's been a couple weeks now and everything is fine but boy did that scare me. She's a billion years old (either 17 or 18) so anything can happen. I don't know if I could had handled anything happening with her, that might have been the final straw for me.
Here's hoping to May being better than April!